1.I Slept With Terry
He met her at the Mallard, everything was going great
He said, 'Hello, my name is Terry. Can I take you on a date？'
He picked her up at 7：00, everything was going fine
They had a little bit of beer and a lot of red wine
She invited him in cuz it was getting late
She said, 'I slept with Terry, and it wasn't that great.'
I slept with Terry, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt
He woke up in the morning with an aching head
He rolled over and said 'Baby, was I good in bed？'
She said, 'you passed out, you woke up, you puked on my cat
I want you out of my apartment in 10 seconds flat.'
He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say
But from the smell of his skin, he'd been drinking all day
I slept with Terry, and all I got was a W-2
2.Then She Walked Away
There's a picture of a girl in my head, a real life tragedy
I'd like to think that I imagined it, but it happened to me
And I think I actually saw her once, right in front of my face
I turned around to make sure that I was awake, and she turned
and walked away
Where did she go？ I want to know
Did anyone notice？ Did anyone see her when she walked away
When I saw her out in front of my house, in the middle of the
night
I was half-asleep in my underwear. She was under a streetlight
I ran downstairs just as fast as I could, with only my socks on
I ran outside, the sprinklers came on. I turned and she was gone
Where did she go？ I want to know
Did anyone notice？ Did anyone see her when she walked away
I stood out there on the lawn with my wet socks and a broken
heart
I tried to get in my dad's car, but the door was locked
I just stood there staring at the light, locked outside
Where did she go？ Did anyone see？ Did it really happen or was it
on TV
3.Living In The Real World
Every day you've got to wake up, and dissappear behind your
makeup
Take away your calendar watch, and you can't keep track until
your heart attack
I'm living in a magazine, page to page in my limousine
Hey now silly you can't follow me
I'll take another affair and I'll see you later
I'm not living in the real world no more
I can read whatever I want to. I talk to me. I even agree
When everyday is a holiday you can look through your past and
take photographs
You will never walk on the moon, leave your body and fly through
the room
You will never conquer me cuz I'm not here and you're not there
I'm not living in the real world no more. Didn't I ever tell you
I was gone？
I do anything at all. Look at me boy I'm 20 feet tall
Cut my cork on Detroit rock and it's one more stop to the body
shop
I'm living in a magazine, page to page in my submarine
Hey now Mary you can't catch me strapped down to my Powerglide
I'm not living in the real world no more. Yeah.
4.East Bay Of Urden Bay
Hog calling, followed by the Gettysburg address.
Then some angry goading of a pig.
Finally, a reprise of the end of Lincoln's great speech,
with the words 'of the people, by the people, for the people
shall not perish from the earth.'
5.You're Only Hunan
Standing there staring into the light for hours
After a while your sweetness sours
I know you're bad for me
Left over misery
I could've had you yesterday
I should throw it all away
You used to be so warm but now you're so cold
And they tell me you're too old
I know you're bad for me
Left over misery
I could've had you yesterday
I should throw it all away
6.West Of Texas
You know it seems like everytime I turn around I'm looking the
other way.
I don't know what it was about that place,
but there was always people behind me.
People kept stepping on my heels.
So I see myself getting into my pickup truck,
and there in the passenger seat, I see my dog staring at me with
one eye.
I don't turn right onto my street.
I just keep driving and the world spins beneath my feet.
Get me out of here, anywhere at all.
Get me out of here, I don't care at all.
I'm driving down highway ten.
I look in my rearview mirror, there's that cop again.
God knows how long he's been there.
Don't want to get trapped inside my head.
I remember everything they said. I want you all out of my brain.
You won't drive me crazy. I'd rather drive myself insane.
Get me out of here, anywhere at all.
Get me out of here. I don't care at all.
So I look again, and the cop is gone. Or is he in front of me
now？
I don't know. I can't be sure. So I pull off the road.
I must've barrelled down that dirt trail ten or eleven miles
into the desert
before I ran out of gas.
I stepped out of my truck into the blazing Texas heat,
and I turned to see my dog puking out the last of my lunch.
I was shit out of luck. So I reached into my survival skills,
and realizaed I didn't have any.
You now someone once told me you can suck water out of a rock.
I don't know who told me that, but it doesn't work.
I don't know how I got west of Texas. Get me out of here.
7.The Great Australian Midget Toss
Bigger than a medicine ball, but lighter than a shotput
Whether you grab him by the hand, or whether you grab him by the
foot
Some people say it's wrong, but it's really fun
Swing him round and let him go. Little limbs swing to and fro
Heave him out with all your might. Who's to say that it's not
right？
I'm not the violent sort. It's my favorite sport
I'm in love with the great Australian midget toss
I hate to land them on their face. Those little guys are hard to
replace
Fetch my nine-dwarf if you please, my eight-dwarf landed on his
knees
Throwing little kids can work, but I'm not a jerk
They say short people got no reason, but they do in midget
season
Oompah loompah doompity doo. I can throw him further than you
If I come in first place I'll put him in my trophy case
I'm in love with the great Australian midget toss
8.Brown Mercury Comet
My window won't roll up because the handle's all screwed up
The fumes I'm breathing in will make me vomit
But that don't make me frown, I'm showing all the town
My brown Mercury Comet.
My friends gotta climb in through my door. Their side don't work
no more
There's paint, tape, and bondo there upon it
But that won't slow me down I follow chicks around
In my brown Mercury Comet
I'm under it all day and in it every night
The brakes may squeal, but I still feel everything's alright.
If someone wants to race I look him in the face
I never win but still I like to flaunt it
With no muffler I have found I have the winning sound
In my brown Mercury Comet
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